cangrejo en retirada En Foco

El carisma venezolano

El cronista hace un retrato general de uno de los rasgos más característicos del venezolano. Sin embargo, en medio de una crisis profunda, el carisma puede ser un arma de doble filo. “No confundir la risa con la felicidad”, le advierten.

By León Nicanoff /

Qué chévere es el venezolano, tienen un carisma los habitantes de esta preciosa tierra, que si les contara… no me creerían.

En serio, son verdaderamente divertidos, tienen la risa fácil y el chiste ligero. Modulan perfectamente, es casi una generalidad la fluidez de palabra de esta gente, tienen cada dicho, cada salida, un dialecto tan peculiar que a uno no le queda más remedio que tirarse para atrás y reír.

Pero como en todos lados, están los que quieren aparentar ser graciosos, y quedan doblemente ridículos. No obstante esto, todos te hacen sentir bien, quiero decir: todos te trasmiten esas buenas vibras, usted me entiende, que lo colocan a uno en una sintonía relajada, cómoda; a pesar de todo.

No importa la circunstancia, el venezolano te “va a echar un cuento”. Te va a contar un chiste, narrado perfectamente, con introducción, desenlace y final, y acompañado con el cuerpo en una danza armónica.

Si usted viera cómo afronta el venezolano las situaciones más adversas, estoy seguro que sentiría envidia. Yo la he sentido. Es más, la estoy sintiendo en este momento que me encuentro en una habitación escribiendo esto en un cuaderno porque no tengo adaptador para la computadora ni tampoco lo consigo por el tema de las importaciones, mi celular está sin batería y no lo puedo cargar porque hay un apagón energético, tampoco hay agua y hace dos días que no me baño, los mosquitos me agarran de punto, el calor no lo soporto, y afuera están todos jodiendo, haciendo chistes, tomando un trago, y qué dramático que soy, dios mío. 

Encima estos malditos (cariñosamente) caribeños me lo hacen saber. Me dicen: “¡Qué dramático es el argentino!” Por el contrario, ellos se jactan de su buena onda, de levantarse por la mañana con esas pilas, con ese empuje, de seguir frente a todo. De seguir sobre todo. 

Y uno se acerca a mí habitación, donde envejecí 30 años en 30 minutos, y escucho que dice: “El ser argentino… ¡qué dramático es!” Y yo me digo: “La pucha, estos caribeños tienen razón, somos unos dramáticos bárbaros!”

Mientras tanto, ellos ahí: inventando cuentos en la oscuridad del apagón, tranquilos frente al desabastecimiento del agua, haciendo vínculos de risas en las colas de gasolina, resolviendo como sea si esta noche no hay un plato de comida, siempre con esa buena onda.

Me vuelvo a decir, acá, transpirado, cascarrabia y acostado: “La pucha, qué carisma, qué divertida que es ésta gente, por dios”. Entonces, uno se acerca de nuevo a mi habitación y me dice:

-Epale, argentino, vente pa’ fuera, deja a un lado el dramatismo. 

Me seco la frente de transpiración, me acomodo en la cama, dejo a un lado el cuaderno detrás de la vela encendida sobre una mesa ratona, y le digo:

La sombra se quedó estática en la puerta.  Hay unos segundos de silencio. Se escucha afuera el barullo lejano de niños que juegan en la oscuridad. Algunos silban y otros ponen música desde sus celulares, sobre todo música llanera. La silueta se lleva las manos a la cintura, y finalmente responde:

-Sí, sí, yo soy dramático y ustedes son re divertidos. El venezolano es tan divertido… tan divertido es el venezolano que se ríe hasta cuando lo torturan.

-Tranquilo, argentino. No confundir la risa con la felicidad. 

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