RELATOS DEL NORTE PAMPEANO sociedad

Muerte en el cementerio de Arata

By Bautista Arnaudo /

No sé si es costumbre solo en los pueblos pampeanos caminar en las orillas del acceso de entrada, o si en otros lugares del mundo sucede este fenómeno. En mi pueblucho se aprovechan las tardecitas para caminar el acceso, que huele a verde y un poco a salvaje. Hay días en que este cronista también camina tal acceso, pero sin intención de bajar la panza o hacer deporte: como esas veces que lo camino descalzo, sucio y despeinado, como un hippy; o esas otras, yendo vestido como un dandy, con la curiosidad de los compueblerinos. Pero eso sí, siempre desembocando ¡qué calamidad! En el mismo destino: el cementerio.

A unos metros antes de cruzar el arco de entrada se pueden vislumbrar esas paredes de un blanco aguachento, como si hubiesen sido pintadas con cal. Yo miro esas paredes (es imposible no mirar un cementerio) o ellas me miran a mí, llamándome, invitándome; producen en mis pupilas un efecto narcotizante y, embobado, camino sin mover los brazos y cruzo la ruta sin mirar hacia los costados, corriendo el peligro de ser reventado por un camión. Ayer mismo (escribo estas líneas en un estado de euforia incontrolable, con temblequeos en las piernas y un sudor seco en la espalda) corrí la pesada puerta de fierro, y entré embriagado de crepúsculos. Caminé entre las tumbas y nichos, medio encandilado por el sol sangrante, que buscaba apagarse en el oeste.  Jugaba con una piedrita, la pateaba con el pie y trataba de que no se estancara entre las grietas de las baldosas: esos juegos que uno no se da cuenta de que está jugando. Una de las piedritas, que sale disparada con fuerza, pasa cerca del sepulturero, que estaba sentado en un banquito de madera, hecho casero, sin barnizar.

-¿Me querés matar en un cementerio?

-Disculpe – dije y me acerqué a él – venia distraído.

-Estás en el lugar ideal para los soñadores.

Mientras caminábamos, casi arrastrando los pies, me iba hablando sobre lo que él entiende ser un soñador. Yo apenas lo escuchaba porque me iba preguntando por qué los ángeles me esquivan la mirada. El sepulturero se dio cuenta de que seguía distraído, entonces me preguntó si había venido a ver a algún pariente.

-Llegué hasta acá sin querer, sin darme cuenta.

-Entonces vos también sos un soñador como te decía. Contáme ¿qué haces de tu vida?

-Escribo para una revista, nada que se interesante ni revelador – me interpeló con la mirada y la nariz -. Lo que quiero decir es que quisiera escribir un análisis político o un ensayo que me haga parecer un intelectual, pero no puedo, cada vez que lo intento se me rompe el papel o me quedo sin tinta en la lapicera.

-¡Dejáte de joder! – me gritó-. Vos tenés que escribir sobre tumbas y tumbas y tumbas… – repitió siete veces “tumbas”.

Después de silencios y algún tosido, el sepulturero, que quizás esperaba que le hablase de algo, me ordenó:

-Tepate del tapial y mirá para el otro lado.

Le hice caso y trepé. Del lado de afuera centenares de personas, con rostros opacos, casi borrosos, estaban sentados sobre banquitos de madera como esperando algo o a alguien.

-¿Y ésta gente? – pregunté.

-Son algunos de los muertos. A la tardecita salen a la vereda para tomar el fresco.

-¿Y aquellos que vienen allá, del lado del pueblo?

-Son los muertos más recientes. Vi en una película que los muertos regresan a los lugares en que han vivido, lo hacen por un tiempo, hasta que se olvidan de la vida que tuvieron. Para mí no se olvidan, si dejan de volver es porque nadie le da un carajo de bola.

-Se deben querer morir – ironicé pero el sepulturero ni siquiera sonrió.

De esta forma, con el sepulturero pegado a mi derecha, recorrimos el cementerio que de noche parecía reflejar otro lugar, otro pueblo, en todo caso más acogedor y extático. El sepulturero me contó algunas anécdotas divertidas y me advirtió con cuales muertos se debe tener cuidado.

-Yo ya los conozco a todos- me susurró -. Algunos al principio me hacían pasar las de Caín, hasta que fiché quienes eran y me pude ir desquitando.

-¿Cómo?

-Dejándolos más solos. Pero hay otros que son peligrosos de veras, si te cruzan te pueden llegar a matar.

¿De qué forma puede un muerto matar a un vivo? Me quedé con la pregunta en la garganta, porque habíamos llegado a le sección de niños y bebés. “Pobrecitos” se me escapó de la boca. Si bien es una imagen perturbadora la tumba de un niño, no parecía ser igual para ellos. Los encontramos jugando, bailando, riendo.

  El sepulturero me puso una mano en el hombro y dijo:

-No te pongas mal, estos pendejos la pasan mejor que cualquiera.

-¿Por qué?

-Porque no saben que están muertos, para ellos no hay diferencias entre la vida y la muerte. También ignoran el tiempo, así que la eternidad no les afecta.  

-De haber sabido me hubiese colgado quince años atrás.

-¡Oh, no! Estarías en la sección de los suicidas. Están adentro de aquel nicho.

-¿Qué hacen ahí dentro?

-Investigan y experimentan cómo volver a la vida: si la vida no tiene sentido, la muerte menos.

El sepulturero parecía tener respuestas para todas las preguntas, pero no supo decirme qué es la muerte, o la vida, esas cosas de la filosofía clásica. Sin embargo inventaba algo en seguida, tenía buena imaginación y talento para el relato. No sé cuánto tiempo caminamos entre los muertos y conversamos, tampoco sé cómo ni cuándo me quede dormido. Sí sé que esta mañana desperté entre dos tumbas viejas y sucias, sin referencia de quienes están bajo tierra y ni rastros de flores de algún pariente.

Al abrir los ojos lo primero que vi fueron dos palomas en un árbol fornicando y me sentí feliz, tan feliz que no me importó haberme percatado que en Arata no existe ningún sepulturero, en todo caso puede ser que exista un tipo que limpie y haga mantenimientos, pero no que viva en el cementerio. No sé con quién estuve anoche, pero sí sé que no me quiero morir.

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