Lo Pactado

Un joven escritor entrevista a uno de sus maestros. Dos generaciones de autores se juntan y mantienen una conversación sutil y cómplice.

Ilustración especial: Mercedes Desch

Descartó que el olor a cigarrillo pudiera molestar al viejo, que ya no fumaba, aunque él se sabría capaz de dejarlo. Limpió los restos de ceniza que pigmentaban el sobretodo y achicó la cuadra que le quedaba. La entrevista no duraría más de una hora, y confió en que el grabador estaba listo. De todas maneras, cuando lo corrió al bolsillo más pequeño del bolso para dejarlo a mano, notó que temblaba; los nervios no eran en vano: después de los llamados incomprensibles, los intentos frustrados y la falta de caballerosidad por parte doble para concretar un encuentro, ahora estaba tocando el timbre de la casa en la que el viejo escritor había decidido pasar sus últimos años.

Al subir las escaleras, tras abrirle la puerta de entrada una empleada de pollera lisa y olor a naftalina, quiso creer que el interés del viejo en su joven pluma era lo que verdaderamente motivaba el encuentro; no se consideraba un mal escritor, y se lo repitió a sí mismo luego de abrir la puerta de color hueso que conducía al living. Se ubicó en la silla y aguardó los minutos necesarios. Se había sentado sin quitarse el abrigo, por lo que se paró y lo colocó en el respaldo, cuando sonó el picaporte que dividía la sala con otro espacio; el movimiento fue rápido y certero, “como sus cuentos”, pensó el joven autor. El anciano había tomado el picaporte, lo había bajado, corrió unos centímetros la puerta y lo soltó, para tomar después el borde al alcance de su mano y correrla hasta sus goznes. Sería una escena más que sumaría al interminable anecdotario de sus andanzas extra literarias.

Le dijo que no se acercara, que se quedara sentado, que él, pese al bastón en la otra mano, era el anfitrión, él lo saludaba. El joven autor creyó que la respiración agitada del anciano reduciría esa hora de conversación que por única vez entablarían las dos generaciones. Tras estudiarse por unos segundos, sacó una hoja doblada del bolsillo del sobretodo y la desplegó sobre sus rodillas; seguidamente extendió el grabador y lo apoyó en la mesa rectangular que tenía enfrente.

-Vos sabes por qué estás acá y por qué viniste- le dijo el viejo, desterrando cualquier tipo de preámbulo elogioso o pedante.

El joven arqueó las cejas y no pudo evitar caer en la confrontación.

-Si no quiere que lo grabe, entiendo, pero sepa que sus palabras exactas son tan deseadas como poder tener una entrevista con usted-. Sacó de su bolso un cuaderno y apoyó sobre él la hoja con las preguntas. -Soy bueno tomando notas, pero no podré reproducir exactamente lo que diga- finalizó acomodándose en la silla.

El viejo, seguro, tras la incomodidad de su visitante, le dijo que encendiera el grabador.

-No te leí completo porque me aburrí a la mitad; pero como me aburriría leerme a mí mismo; jamás llegué al final de mis propias obras.

-Pierda cuidado que tampoco intento leerme. Solamente leo muy bien las preguntas que le hago a mis entrevistados- respondió.

Se notaba en ambos, en algunos silencios al responder, en las esperas, que aguardaban algo, como un tesoro en el que creían más que en su propio futuro, o pasado.

El joven autor volvió a oír la afirmación que salió de su entrevistado:

-Sabes por qué viniste y yo sé por qué estás acá.

Los raptos de manejada senilidad del viejo no lograban emocionar al joven, quien todavía lo creía capaz de actuar como lo había hecho en cada una de sus apariciones públicas, así hubiera una o doscientas personas. Creyó que hasta actuaría frente a sí mismo, frente a la hoja en blanco de su próxima historia.

-Usted no ha podido reparar lo irreparable -le dice apuntándolo con la lapicera- y eso se nota en lo que escribe.

La risa del anciano también parecía impostada, pero no lo que siguió a ella.

-Yo sé que viste el volumen ahí encima de la mesa en la que está el grabador. No es casualidad y ya te has dado cuenta. Es una cosa por otra. Nietzsche se equivocó: no hay hechos, hay intercambios.

-Le respondo como usted suele responder -dijo el joven autor, que temía hacer el papelón más grande de su carrera literaria-: hay decisiones, narrativas y de las otras, que solamente las pueden tomar quienes han sido signados o elegidos por ellas. Hay que darse cuenta, nada más.

La mirada cómplice del viejo -como en la cara de un niño- dejaba que la sentencia del visitante cayera y pesara lo que debía pesar. El anciano pidió que repitiera lo que había dicho recién. Él lo volvió a decir, ingresando de ese modo en esos ensayos públicos actuados de su admirado autor. Lo repitió mirando fijo el volumen de Goethe que estaba sobre la mesa rectangular.

-La flor nunca se deshoja por el centro- se permitió decir el viejo, mirando el volumen también, con la afectación de alguien que no teme la decisión que ya se ha tomado.

El entrevistador punteó algunas pocas palabras más con su lapicera, sabiendo que el grabador captaba todo, e hizo referencia -indirectamente- al amor que según él había conseguido, pero también perdido, el viejo Fausto. Era esa su interpretación directa, firme y segura de la obra de Goethe.

-El cúmulo de errores son un párrafo que uno no se atreve a mostrar- afianzó, y se animó a decirle que él también sabía por qué ha ido hasta ahí, hasta su casa. Y que lo aceptaba.                     

            Hablarán un rato más, quedando de acuerdo en los elogios y las diatribas de autores que ambos comparten y han leído. El joven autor, al irse, dejará el grabador -olvidado, aunque más bien, no lo necesitará- en la casa. El objeto parece atesorar como un talismán los consejos que él le ha dado, en el final de la entrevista, para que intentara retornar al tiempo y al amor. Cuando sale, apoya el bastón, y se toca las sienes para sentir cómo laten ahora.

                                               Cuento extraído del libro “Hueso al cielo”. Alción. 2018

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