Una noche, mientras trabajaba como periodista en un diario, me tocó cubrir un hecho. Desde la redacción escuchamos escandalosas bocinas de bomberos, y salimos disparando al Edificio Gemellus, de la calle Urquiza entre San Martín y Lisandro de la Torre, pensando que había un incendio. Al llegar, desde la superficie se podía observar en el noveno piso una luz con un resplandor peculiar, más intenso que cualquier lámpara normal. Los ingenuos, entre ellos la policía y los bomberos, creían que era fuego, pese a que esa ventana no largaba ni una pizca de humo.
¿Qué era esa misteriosa luz que mantenía expectantes a los transeúntes y las fuerzas de seguridad de La Pampa? Durante media hora se formularon todo tipo de divagues, hasta que un bombero dijo “no va más, entremos”. De modo que cargaron un zocotroco de hierro semejante a un tronco, y subieron al trotecito por las escaleras. Yo, que estaba garroneando información y detalles, pensando que era un vecino al pedo (era un periodista al pedo), fui citado de testigo, entonces subí danzante por las escaleras. Cuando llegamos al noveno piso, los muchachos le apuntaron al centro de la puerta y, pese a que ni un hilito de humo había, le dieron con el mamotreto hasta partirla al medio.
¿Qué era esa misteriosa luz que mantenía expectante a los transeúntes y las fuerzas de seguridad de La Pampa?”
Entraron agarrándose de la manguera, miraron para el costado y no había fuego, había un calendario con imágenes de chalas, que decía “martes 30, 12 horas de luz”, “jueves 10, 16 horas de luz”. En la mesita ratona había un cenicero atestado de tucas al lado de una pipa tan grande que bien se podría haber usado de mamotreto para romper la puerta. En la mesa principal, fertilizante, y más allá, al fondo y al costado, en el lavadero, la misteriosa luz, ¿qué era esa luz?, se preguntaba todavía la policía y los bomberos y la encararon en fila india.
En ese momento, en el preciso momento que la policía descubría las 5 plantas de marihuana perfectamente ventiladas, preciosas, elegantes, sublimes, y con el foco de sodio que las encandilaba, el dueño del departamento llegaba a su morada agitando los brazos y gritando: “¡noo, noo, noo!”. Inmediatamente llegó Toxicomanía para secuestrar las 5 plantas y el fumón, no obstante, quiso persuadir a uno en privado, le dijo “dale, déjame una, qué te cuesta, si no te cuesta nada”, pero el toxicomanómano no cesaba de arrancarlas de cuajo y romperlas y meterlas en una bolsa negra cual cuerpo muerto encontrado en un río oscuro, y éste, el fumón de playa, no paraba de retorcerse cada vez que el policía destripaba una planta, como cuando en las películas una bruja pincha un muñeco y del otro lado del mundo un desgraciado se retuerce. Yo lo miraba a unos metros, con cierta ternura, rodeado de canas que me tiraban alguna data.
En el preciso momento que la policía descubría las5 plantas de marihuana el dueño llegaba a su morada agitando los brazos y gritando: “¡noo, noo, noo!”
Ahí fue que vi uno de sus placares abiertos, y en su interior dos o tres pastillas de éxtasis y una pequeña dosis de LSD con el simpático dibujo del viejito en bici “re loco”. “Completito el marihuanero este”, pensé y lo miré fríamente. Él se percató de la desprolijidad de tener el placar abierto y abrió los ojos como un búho y sus testículos le debieron haber empezado a transpirar porque otro policía se encaminaba hacia mí, que estaba al lado del placar de la droga. “Oficial, dígame”, lo detuve, “en qué delito incurrió el joven por la tenencia de marihuana”, y mientras el hombre me explicaba que la causa se girará al Juzgado Federal, y que si verdaderamente era para consumo personal el joven infringió la ley 23.737, yo empujaba suavemente la puerta del placar hasta cerrarla, y el porrero me agradecía con la mirada extraviada, haciendo un solemne ademán con la cabeza. La crónica “formal” en el diario se puede leer acá.
Cuando terminó el operativo, le dije al joven “que mala leche tenés, quién habrá sido el demente que confundió fuego por una luz de sodio”. Me respondió “sisi, pero esto no hubiera pasado si la marihuana fuera legal”.
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60 thoughts on “Pánico y locura en el edificio Gemellus: el día que creyeron que se incendiaba y había una plantación de marihuana”
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