La cultura del mangazo en los gitanos

El ex diputado del PRO, Maximiliano Aliaga, renegó que unos adinerados gitanos de Santa Rosa se hayan presentado para recibir la tarjeta Alimentar. Pecó de simplista. Lo que no sabe el dirigente cambiemita es que la respuesta se remite a miles de años. ¿Por qué mangan los gitanos?

Los gitanos tienen una historia nutrida que día a día se reinventa en lo que refiere al arte del mangazo. Pero los que viven en la calle Argentino Valle tienen una particularidad: han construido un “imperio” de la compra y venta de los autos usados y son millonarios. Sin embargo, siguen mangando como el Dios Gitano manda. ¿Por qué? He aquí la respuesda contada a través de una anécdota.

Fumaba un tabaco armado uno de esos días grises en Santa Rosa cuando me chistaron desde adentro de un auto. Me acerqué y eran un grupo de pícaros zíngaros que conocía de cuando era pibe. Hacía unos 15 años me habían engrupido un pebete y una Coca Cola en una cantina. Yo los reconocí de inmediato y ellos también a mí.

-¿Noel? ¡Noel!- me gritaron.

-¿Qué hacen ustedes acá?-.

-Acá estamos, loco -reían como comadrejas- ¿eso que tenés ahí es fasín?- preguntaron.

-No viejo, es tabaco- dije y desconfiaron o se desilusionaron.

Ahí nomás sentí un inconfundible olor a porro, un enérgico paraguayo rancio. Entonces les recriminé:

-Pero eso que tenés ahí es un paragua de acá a la China-.

Rieron descontroladamente por el porro encanutado que tenían y me invitaron a pasar a su camioneta Hilux.

Si ese día estaba bien, conforme con mi vida, ahora sentía un frenesí en el espíritu: extraña sensación de manipular la circunstancia, de moldearla, de andar por un camino no trillado. Ocurre que además de seguir el día “bien mambeado” (beneficiado por el cannabis), con una divertida dispersión que brotaba de mi cuerpo, había saldado en menos de 10 minutos una cuenta que tenía desde hacía 15 años con estos zíngaros. Porque ahora yo los engrupí a ellos: cuando entré me ofrecieron “un par de secas”, me acomodé, dije “mirá qué caripelas”; dije “lo que hace el tiempo”, agarré el elemento tercermundista y le di dos pitadas, lo miré y le di una más, luego otra, reí, tosí, hablé, dije “no pueden suscribir a la cultura del mangazo si son millonarios y fuman en una Hilux”, y por último después de una eternidad le propiné una larga y prolongada pitada dejando a Latinoamérica reducida a una pequeña pieza ardiente, casi extinta, imposible de manipular. Los había dejado sin porro. En ese momento pensé: “¡1 a 1 gitanos!”.

‘Quien curra no está muerto. El curro, al igual que la poesía es una manera de vivir, una opción’. Con el mangazo sucede lo mismo”

El pueblo gitano se remonta al Génesis, porque muchos suponen que son descendientes de Caín. Conocerán la historia de Caín y Abel. Abel era el alcahuete de Dios que le daba de ofrenda grasa, producto que curiosamente le interesaba a Dios. Caín le obsequiaba “los dones de los frutos del campo” pero era reiteradamente ninguneado. Entonces, Caín asesinó a su hermano. Cuando Dios le preguntó dónde está Abel, Caín respondió con una memorable pregunta: “¿Acaso soy yo el custodio de mi hermano?”. Esto me recordó a una vivencia más que tuve con estos gitanos, quienes ahora son noticias por mangar la tarjeta alimentar. Aquí la paso a contar.

Días después, iba caminando por la vereda cuando me vuelven a llamar. Me ofrecieron una “movida de flores que tiene un amigo de un amigo”, a determinado precio. Titubeé y luego acepté. Al día siguiente, estaba con el efectivo encaminado para concretar la transacción, cuando de repente el precio había aumentado “misteriosamente” un 20 por ciento. Desconcertado, lo interrogué al conductor. Este giró la cabeza, miró a su hermano y entonces, como si el tiempo desde el Génesis hasta acá no hubiera pasado, le preguntó: “¿Acaso miento yo cuando digo que el frasco aumentó un 20%?”, su hermano: “no, por supuesto que no”. Y me miraron. Pensé que era viernes y no tiene nada que hacer. Me embocaron. Íbamos dos a uno.

El pueblo gitano tiene una procedencia misteriosa. Ellos mismos se encargaron de que así sea. Cuentan, los conocedores del tema, que en la antigüedad se rodeaban de una atmósfera enigmática y legendaria como medida de protección frente a una población que podía ser hostil. Pero en realidad, descubrieron que sus actividades y espectáculos eran más redituables si estaban cargadas de misticidad. He aquí la sofisticación del mangazo.

El mangazo es un deporte, como cualquier otro. Requiere de astucia y disciplina para lograr un refinamiento. Significa, para quien lleva a cabo su cometido con prolijidad, es decir, quien combina la experiencia con la improvisación en un súbito hechizo, un deleite enorgullecedor; alimenta el espíritu. Un gran escritor supo decir “quien curra no está muerto. El curro, al igual que la poesía es una manera de vivir, una opción”. Con el mangazo sucede lo mismo. En Argentina los gitanos se dividen en dos grandes grupos: el “Rom” y el “Ludár”, que se dedican especialmente al comercio de artesanías, joyas y “carros”. 

Descubrieron que sus actividades y espectáculos eran más redituables si estaban cargadas de misticidad. He aquí la sofisticación del mangazo”

Se desconoce la procedencia de los gitanos millonarios de Santa Rosa. Tal vez no pertenecen a ningún grupo, tal vez al que más les convenga, no se sabe. Lo que es cierto es que se dedican a la venta de carros, y que son particularmente ricos. ¿Cómo era posible, entonces, que mangueen, si a esa práctica recurren los humildes justamente por necesidad? Posteriormente entendí. Sucede, además, que no hay una definición estrictamente étnica acerca de quién es gitano y quién no, sino más bien está vinculado a una condición socioeconómica: hay que ser ontológicamente humilde (aunque conserves unos cuantos frívolos millones de pesos, claro). Se puede decir, en este sentido, que son tradicionalistas y románticos. Los más cursis afirman: “Mientras haya una estrella en el cielo, habrá gitanos en el mundo”.

Una noche quería ser publicado en BIFE pero precisaba redondear la información, tenía que reunirme una vez más con ellos. De modo que resolví cautivarlos con un porro. Entre flores y paragua, decidí utilizar de carnada el paragua y reducirlo en un 50% de tabaco (algo aprendí, no, si voy a ser un perpetuo mandao hacer). Salí y estaban afuera. Dije “qué linda noche” y me acerqué, “cuántas estrellas, aparentemente hay gitanos”, me hacía el canchero porque algo había leído. “Tengo unas florcitas”, les mentí y entramos a su “carro”. Me contaron que sus días muchas veces se hacen monótonos por eso cada tanto hacen la “sesión” en el “carro”, pero en definitiva viven “pedaleando”, me contaron cómo fueron formando el negocio, y que nacieron aquí mismo. “¿Y qué hacen con la guita”, les pregunté y me mostraron videos del Turismo Carretera donde algunos compiten, me mostraron videos tirándose champang, me mostraron videos de maratónicos cumpleaños a los que me mienten que “te vamos a invitar”.

No hay una definición estrictamente étnica acerca de quién es gitano y quién no, sino más bien está vinculado a una condición socioeconómica: hay que ser ontológicamente humilde (aunque conserves unos cuantos frívolos millones de pesos, claro)”

De repente, quiero “pincharlos”, quiero que reaccionen, les dije: “¿Ustedes saben que hace 70 años nada más los hubieran mandado a la cámara de gas?”. Hay un mínimo silencio que se rompe de inmediato con una fuerte carcajada. “Estos son ratas y felices”, pensé. Luego me enteré que la cultura gitana es fundamentalmente ágrafa, es decir no dejan registro escrito de nada, y en definitiva les importa tres pepinos la historia. “Y uno perpetuamente haciendo revisionismo histórico”, pensé. Casi que les pregunto si son felices, pero justo el elemento lúdico se agotó y fue entonces cuando uno convalidó: “Uh qué ricas florcitas”. Ahí sí que reí por dentro y tuve ganas de decirles “es paragua, gitano, y encima, con esto, se hace un artículo para Revista BIFE”. ¡Dos a dos romaníes!

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